Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Why I am obsessed with birth.

When I was 15 I remember walking into our garage, which had been converted into a art studio for my mom, and hearing a lady talk about giving birth on the radio. I had never given much thought to birth, only that I was terrified of getting a big needle stuck in my back. I stopped and listened for a few minutes while gathering the paint that I went in their to get. She was speaking about birth and it's spiritual meaning, how during birth, we sacrifice our blood for the sake of another, the way Christ spilled his blood to save all mankind. I thought about this for the next little while, and contemplated what my own journey to motherhood  would be like. Everything I knew about birth didn't seam very spiritual to me, but yet this new concept made such an impact on me. I decided that when the time came I would prepare myself for a spiritual birth. 

4 years later I was sitting in my human development class discussing birth. My professor was very knowledgeable in all aspects of birth, breastfeeding, baby wearing and all things of the sort. We discussed how society's view of the birthing woman has significantly changed in the last 100 years or so. We looked at pictures of women birthing in ancient times, looking up towards the heavens, reaching down to bring their own babies into the world. Giving birth was God like, and women where birthing goddesses. 
 I decided that giving birth was something I wanted to experience, I was excited to experience. Even if part of the experience involved pain. A few years later when I got pregnant, I started doing research on prenatal classes, and started watching birth videos. I came across a HypnoBirthing home birth. The title of it made me giggle a little, but I was intrigued, so I started watching it. I had never seen a calm, gentle birth before. The woman in the video didn't appear to be in any pain. When a contraction would start, she would close her eyes and start breathing deeply. Mind blown. I didn't have to be screaming out in pain in order to have my spiritual birth experience. 

One HypnoBirthing class, HypnoBirthing instructor certification, and two natural births later, I am obsessed with birth. However, until a few days ago, I had a hard time explaining to people why it was so important to me. The baby gets here safe and sound, that's all that matters right? 
Maybe to some that is all that matters. But I believe that it is SO much more than that. 

I read this article a few days ago, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. It's from the blog Women in the Scriptures. It is amazing and I highly recommend it to everyone! 

Did you read it? Seriously, go, read, you will not regret it.

The hole thing is amazing, here are just a few of my favorite excerpts. 

She talks about the two veils we pass through and compares our role and Chirst role in each passing. 
"The first veil that all mankind passes through is the veil of birth in which man is born into the world by water, blood and the spirit. Women have a stewardship over this first veil. When Eve partook of the tree of knowledge she became more like God, knowing good from evil and gaining the capacity to bear children. Eve's transgression "opened the matrix", as it says in Exodus 34:19, the womb, the gateway through which the souls of all mankind would pass through into the mortal world. The only possible way to enter this mortal world is through the body of a woman and by the shedding of her blood... there is no other way.

The second veil is the veil we must pass through in order to re-enter the presence of God and continue on our eternal journey. Men have a stewardship over this second veil. Just like Adam, righteous men hold the priesthood keys and administer the ordinances which cleanse us from our sins and enable us to come back into the presence of God. Just like the first veil, the second veil requires a sacrifice of blood, water and spirit. Through His Atonement Jesus Christ performed this great and last sacrifice for all mankind. Just as women are the only gateways into the mortal world, Christ is the only gateway into the eternal world... there is no other way."

How amazing is it that our bodies know how to grow a baby and give birth? I think women have lost faith in their own bodies ability to give birth. Sure there are there are problems that can arise, that require assistance, and in those circumstances thank goodness for modern medicine. 

"Given how incredible it is that women's bodies are able to create complete human beings, without their minds directing how it will happen, it seems possible to me that part of the "first lessons" women received in the pre-mortal world was how to create bodies. While their mortal minds don't remember how to do it, perhaps their eternal spirits do and it is a woman's eternal soul which directs and guides her body in the construction of the baby and oversees the process of labor and birth.
We also know that in the pre-mortal existence that Satan and a third of the host of heaven rejected God's plan to come to earth and receive mortal bodies (D&C 29:36). Because they were not faithful in keeping their first estate Satan and his third are the only ones out of God's children that will never pass through the first veil; no woman will ever create a body for them or shed her blood by bearing them into the world, nor will they ever have wives or children. This is one of the reasons that many of Satan's tactics are directed at women and at the structure which protects and guards the first veil... the family. Satan is doing everything in his power to convince women that their bodies, which are the gateway through the first veil, are dirty, ugly, imperfect, dysfunctional and of no importance. He is doing everything he can to distract and confuse women so that they abandon their responsibility as the guardians of life into this world. If he can destroy women's faith in their bodies and help them lose sight of the importance of the first veil---and the power and sanctity of conception, pregnancy and birth--- then he is well on his way to thwarting God's plan."

Friday, March 22, 2013


Where is time going? March is almost over!

It's official, I am the worst blogger ever.
I was thinking today about all of the wonderful experiences I am having with my boys, and how I want to remember them. I had a wonderful day today and thought "I should write about this in my journal."
Then a second thought was, "I haven't updated the blog in a while."

So I figure I might as well kill two birds with one stone.

First things first, today was a good day. The majority of my days are good days. But the other days, the not so good days, sometimes seem to overshadow the good days. You know, the days your kids are constantly fighting, getting hurt, and making messes. One day I cleaned up one mess after another all. day. long. You think I am exaggeration, but I'm not. Lincoln and Spencer were like little tornado's wreaking havoc every where they went. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed by those days that I start to feel like a failure. I wonder why in the world I thought I was qualified to bring another child into my chaotic life.

But today was not one of those days.

Will got up with the boys since he convinced me to stay up late to watch Psych. It's hard to sleep in when I here the pitter patter of little feet and giggles downstairs. So I decided to get up and get ready for the day. (this usually doesn't happen until nap time) I hear little footsteps coming and the bathroom door swings open. Spencer is standing there with a big smile on his face. "HI!" he says.

This little boy melts my heart.
He gives me hugs and kisses, and sits on the floor watching me get ready.

We go downstairs and do the usual routine. Eat breakfast, change diapers, go potty, get dressed. Lincoln asks to play with play dough. We start playing at the table and Will joins us. Lincoln made an ocean and I made him several fish to go swimming in it. Then I made Lincoln a Muno and Will made his own "daddy Muno." Lincoln's face lit up, and he laughed and laughed as the two of the Muno's played tag. Will headed to his office and we headed to Costco.

Costco trips usually end in me needing a coke and loads of chocolate, but today my boys were perfect. I realized once I put them in the cart that I had forgotten to bring my usual line up of snack, treats and toys to keep them busy. "This will be fun I thought."

Lincoln decided right away that there was a dinosaur chasing us. We hurried through Costco grabbing things we thought would keep the dinosaur away from us. None of them worked. Lincoln and Spencer laughed the whole time and it was wonderful. I got lots of funny looks from others as I hurried down an isle with Lincoln and Spencer screaming "Oh no the dinosaur is going to get us." But I did not care one bit!

That's how my day started yesterday, we came home from Costco, the boys took a nap and I started this post, one day later I am finishing it. That's how bad I am at blogging, I can't even finish one post a day.
Oh well.

My point was, I had a good day. And I want to remember the good days, because they are worth remembering. I love these two little boys more than words can say, and I feel so blessed to have the opportunity to be their mother.

In other news I am 38 weeks and feeling great. I am so happy to have made it this far, and I am pretty sure I will end up going over my due date. Which I am totally fine with. The thought of having three kids terrifies me. Ready or not baby #3 is coming fast! I can't wait to meet him!