Monday, July 15, 2013

Gone but not forgotten

Three years ago today I got a call a phone call mid morning, I missed the call and checked my phone to see who it was. It was my mom. I dialed the number back as I was walking up the stairs to my room. My little sister answered, from the tone in her voice I could tell something was wrong.

"Cara, My dad's gone."

It was about all she could get out. I told her I would be right over and hung up the phone.
I burst into tears and sunk to the floor. I was so mad at myself for not making the trip to my moms the previous Sunday. I felt like I should, but I just ignored it.

Steve and I butted heads for most of my childhood. Him being my "Step dad" was something I couldn't seem to get over, despite him always referring to me as his daughter.
I remember getting in trouble when I was 16 for doing donuts in our culdesac. I was furious that he was making a scene in front of my friends. Hind sight, I was clearly the stupid one.

It wasn't until I after I was married that our relationship really started to get better. Steve loved Will, and that brought us together for some odd reason.

A week or so before Steve passed away I brought over a couple burgers from Wendy's. I ate mine and Steve struggled to eat the first of the two I bought for him. We sat and talked for a bit and he offered me his second burger. He played with Lincoln, and told him he was going to buy him a pony. I remember thinking "Why couldn't we have just had this relationship all along?"

I am reminded today of the importance of telling those you love what they mean to you.
Of letting go of small differences and living life to the fullest.

It breaks my heart that my boys wont be able to meet their grandpa's.
If there was anything Steve loved more than being a cowboy, it was being a Grandpa.

Thursday, July 11, 2013


Another round of Deja vu, a few weeks ago was Connor's baby blessing. He received a name and a blessing on June 23rd. Will gave a beautiful blessing in a circle of dear friends and my amazing Grandfather. It was such an honor for us to be able to have my Grandpa Keith stand in the circle. He is 92 years old and is still going strong!

What is a blessing without yummy food afterwards?

Thanks to everyone who was able to make it. We enjoyed celebrating Connor's special day.