Friday, January 16, 2015

My children make me feel bipolar.

I love my children. I love being a mom. I love staying home with my kids. I love to play ninja turtles, build towers with legos, and make a gazillion little balls out of play dough. But wow, having kids is an emotional roller coaster. I find myself staring at my beautiful boys and wondering how I ever thought I was happy without them, and 5 minutes later, wondering how I will survive another 5 hours with them.
My days typically start out with Lincoln standing at the side of my bed. Either creepily staring at me as I sleep or telling me there is something crazy happing in the basement. Or that a fly is trapped in the house, and get this, he is attracted to the light. I tell him to go back to bed only to realize that it is 7:30 and time to get up.
I am not a morning person, so I usually spend the majority of the morning trying to convince myself that my children are not trying to ruin my life by waking up early. I grumble around getting the kids fed and trying not to snap at them before 8am. I did not succeed at this on Tuesday. All three boys took turns crying, fighting, and hitting all morning. At one point Will came out of his office in order to clear some tension. All three boys attacked him and begged him not to go back to work.

Lunch time finally rolled around and after that is preschool for Lincoln. I daydream about next year when Lincoln and Spencer will both be going to school. That dream is interrupted when they both start stripping their clothes off. 
 get the boys dressed again and start the ongoing search for lost shoes. 
30 minutes later we are in the car. 
After I drop Lincoln off I get both Spencer and Connor down for a nap. 

This is a glorious thing that only happens every once and a while. I have plenty that needs to get done around the house, but decide to send a couple emails first. Then I fall asleep on the couch instead. 

After our wonderful naps, I feel a sense of renewal.  My children once again have halos and I am ready to carry on the day. We head out to pick up Lincoln from preschool. After that we stop by Walmart. Getting from the car to the store results in me turning into angry mommy. While standing in line the lady in front of my turns around and says "Wow, you have your hands full!" I can't go out in public without at least one person saying something along those lines.

Lincoln starts to belt out "Jingle bells" in an opera voice. I can' t help but smile, he is so proud to hear his own voice. I tell him I love to hear his voice and nice mommy is back. 
We leave Walmart and head over to gymnastics. For the most part the kids behave. 

When Will asks if we should go to dinner I say sure. I get to Costa Vida first, and with my false sense of confidence, take the kids inside to order. While standing in line, Lincoln and Spence both inform me they need to go potty, and run off to the bathroom. I figured now was as good of time as any for them to learn to go by themselves. They come back and run in circles around me as I order our food. "I don't want that." "I want a hotdog." "Oh can I have a drink" "And ice cream."
As I am paying the cashier says 
"You have your hands full!" 

The boys were really digging the independence thing and filled up their own drink cups. Because I was too busy dealing with a toddler playing the "I'm going to throw myself out of your arms and see if you catch me" game. After having Lincoln poor out his ice tea he got, we sit down to start eating.

Will walks in and says "They are doing good."
We force feed all three children and Connor continues to play his game. 
One more potty trip for Connor and we are on our way home.

On the way home Lincoln asks me if they cut my babies out of my tummy. 
"Did you squeeze them out your butt?" 

We continued on with a talk that I wasn't planning on having for a while.

We get home, take a bath, read stories, sing songs and then GLORIOUS bed time. 
Will and I plop down on the couch and enjoy being kid free for a while. 
I find myself dreaming about a time when the kids will wipe their own butts. 
And leaving the house wont feel like a marathon.
And going to dinner will be enjoyable.
Only to tip toe into their rooms a few hours later to give them one more kiss, and whisper in their ears, "I love you, never grow up."


Sharlene, Mom, Grammy said...

Beautiful post, Cara. And oh, I can so, so identify. And I know it sounds crazy, but even at my very old age, I still long for the days when my biggest concerns were "surviving" the day with active litle ones. You are wise to whisper, "Never grow up." Keep that thought in your heart on your most difficult days. Never grow up.

Holly said...

I LOVE this!! Sums up my days & my feelings perfectly!!!

Soni Levenseller said...

Buahahaha! Linc and his baby questions cracked me up :)