Tuesday, May 4, 2010

A little help?????

Let me prelude this with letting everyone know that Lincoln is an amazing baby! I am extremely grateful for the joy he brings to our lives. We are lucky to have him. But Will has had blood shot eyes for the last 3 weeks, and I have a never ending headache. Lincolns sleeping habits are out of control! I know that some babies don't ever sleep through the night but he is waking up 5....6....sometimes 12 times during the night. It seems like we have tried everything! He hasn't been nursing in the night for the last 3 months...he just wakes up and needs his pacifier. We have tried putting him to bed with out his pacifier, letting him put himself to sleep, letting him cry it out, putting him to bed earlier, putting him to bed later, giving him solids, shorter naps, longer naps, I don't know what to do!?!?! Anyone have any suggestions???? What are your schedules like. Lincoln goes to bed at 8:30 and wakes up for the day at 7:30. He eats at 7:30, 10:30, 1:30, 4:30, and then has solids at 7:30 and a bottle at 8. He takes 1-4 naps and is on a eat/wake/sleep routine. I don't know what else to try!
A little help.....

12 comments:

The Bock Family said...

Hi there! I know you don't know me well but I love this topic! At his age, he should wake around 7, take one nap about two hours later, sleep for about 1 and 1/2 or so hours, be awake for another 2-3 hours, take another nap, be awake for 3 or so hours and then bed at 6:30 or 7. So: 7 - wake up, 9- nap, 10:30 - wake up, 12:30 nap, 2:30 wake up, 6:30 bed time. They can wake up at night but I won't pick them up or even look at them. I will just stand there and pat their back and sooth them. I have read A LOT about this and both of my girls are wonderful sleepers! I think that 4 naps during the day is way too much and it is messing up his night schedule.Hope this helps a little.

Christa and Randall said...

heyy cara, so sorry lincoln's having a hard time sleeping through the night! here's a couple things i used to get parker to sleep thru the night. we have a bunch of lullaby cd's that we play for him every night while he sleeps, and i think it really helps calm him down and helps him sleep through the night. so you could try playing soft music for him and see if that helps. i also nurse parker in the bed a lot if he ever wakes in the middle of the night, and its great cause we both usually fall back asleep. if i think of anymore suggestions i'll let you know... good luck! he is such a cute baby!

annie said...

i agree with the bock family....it's not very intuitive, but putting him to bed earlier at night will make a huuuge difference. and the first thing you should do is go out and get the book 'healthy sleep habits, happy child.' seriously, it's the best there is. it changed our lives. maren used to be the worst sleeper, but this book taught us how to change that, and we're all better off for it. you're welcome to borrow my copy if you'd like.

The said...

So sorry! This is no fun! Just like Annie, the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth changed our lives. The book goes through each age and how much your child should be sleeping and at what times. At 6 months Tucker was going to bed at 7:00 pm, waking up at 7:00 am (with one nursing during the night), and taking naps at 9:00, 1:00, and 4:00. (The 4:00 nap was usually less than an hour, and the book talks about how some kids give up that third nap and go to just two naps sooner than others.) The book talks about sleep rhythms and how to help your child sleep when his body is ready to sleep, and these were the times that it suggested (and they worked for us!). The other thing we had to do was let Tucker cry it out at night. He was getting up almost every hour at one point, and nothing else worked, so we just had to let him cry it out. And sometimes it lasted for literally an hour or so, and multiple times a night. And the crying went on for probably two months...but then he stopped, and it was TOTALLY worth it! It makes us sound like terrible parents, but that's the only thing that worked for him. Good luck! And take a look at that book if you can! (We still refer to it!) Sleep training is totally worth it!!!

Holly said...

Sorry, I was logged in under a different account. That last comment from "The" was from me. :)

Kristin said...

We were having problems with Landon waking up several times a night and he would make us hold him for hours. If we tried to put him back in the crib he woke up and cried. He was about 9 months when it started. We talked to our doctor about it and we were told to put him in the crib, walk out, and let him cry for no less then 15 min. Then go back in and hold him standing next to the crib until he was calm and put him right back in the crib. We would do this several times at first and the crying was horrible but about 2 weeks later he didn't need to be held anymore. If you don't want to start holding him, you could rub his back like the Bock Family says, don't talk to him either.
You might just have to take the pacifier away and try letting him cry. Crying it out didn't work for us though until we had a set way of doing it. (Going back in every 15min) I would think he eventually would get used to sleeping without. It's tough but if you are consistent in how you handle it, it will work.

Landon has always gone to bed around 9-10, sometimes he wakes up once and we just go in and comfort him for a min and then he sleeps until 8:30-9am. Nap from 1-2 and 5-6. So about 12 hours at night and about 2 hours worth of naps.

Also routines are the best. We get ready for bed, read 3 or so books, then he goes to bed. He knows what's coming next so there are no surprises.

Bad sleeping habits are no fun, I hope you can figure out a way that works for you. Good luck!

Sharlene, Mom, Grammy said...

It sounds like you've got a bunch of good advice here, but I'll add my two cents worth. (I did raise 6 chidlren.) :) I think the book sounds like a good idea to help you put a plan in motion. I would just say a couple of things: I would never take a pacifier away until a baby is at least one year of age. And all my babies were fine with no pacify once they reached that year old mark. I think routine is very important---same bed time, same nap time, etc. Consistant routine. With one of mine, it only took 4 nights of letting her cry, and she never woke up again. Of course, she was waking up to nurse, so once she knew there was more mid-night milk snacks, I guess that did it. (she was between 6-9 months old)It's tough. And I will say that babies are different---what works for one might not work for another. (as I learned with my 6) Also, have you talked to your doctor? Is there anything from his medical history (surgery, etc.) that could be causing the waking up? Or perhaps there is no connection whatsoever. I'll say a little prayer for you all. Eventually, it will all be fine. I had another baby that didn't sleep through the night for 2 years!!! But she woke up for different reasons at different ages. I just learned to survive on 4 hours sleep a night. But don't do that---borrow that book. :)

Anonymous said...

WHITE NOISE! Our baby has slept with a humidifier running constantly through the night since he was born, and he started STTN at 4-months-old (he's 14-months now). We don't DARE skip a night, even though we live in the humid south! You can use anything as white noise though - just be sure it is constant and lasts ALL night! We also use lullaby CDs at bedtime for 30-45 minutes to help him fall asleep.

There are tons of different sleep training methods. We never used them (cry it out was HORRIBLE and we gave up after the first night). Try them all if you have to - one is bound to work! Good luck!!

Adri said...

It sounds like Lincoln needs to learn how to go back to sleep on his own. Babies (and adults) wake up several times a night but at some point we learn how to go back to sleep without even remembering we woke up . . . have you tried letting him cry? It sounds horrible but earplugs can help. I know it's awful and hard to sleep through, plus you have neighbors to worry about but that's all that has worked for us with Chandler.

EXCEPT for the sound machine, which was a lifesaver. You can find the one we have in the infant section at WalMart for $15. It makes soothing noises and projects pictures on the ceiling. It was a LIFESAVER for us. Now when Chandler wakes up in the night he just pushes the button and lays back down.

With Preston I usually bring him back to bed and nurse and we both fall asleep. It's totally the easy way out and I get plenty of sleep doing that but eventually I'll have to break him of it and that will be another hurdle, which we're planning on crossing when we get back from our trip. I'm going to move him into Chandler's room and I'm scared!!

Good luck, Cara. Just remember that whatever you decide to do, even if it's hard, is for the best for everyone. You and Will need your sleep and it's healthy for Lincoln to develop good sleep habits. You will figure out what's best for you guys and it will eventually get better!

kira said...

Wow, there is a ton of good advice on here. Owen had the same problems. What helped us was
1.an air purifier for white noise 2. Letting him cry himself to sleep (I would go in every 15 minutes just to check on him and pat his back but never picked him up)
3. Going to bed earlier. I know it sounds crazy, but putting Owen to bed earlier makes him sleep better and longer.
4. The most important is stick to your schedule. My family thinks I'm crazy, but if we get off schedule (i.e. naps and bed time routine) it can take days for Owen to start sleeping through the night again.
Anyway, good luck! It's tough but you've gotta do it sometime for your sake and his.

Natasha said...

You have to read "healthy sleep habbits happy child" it will change your life for ever and I'm not exaturating. Our son Lincoln is only 2 months old but he goes to bed at 8pm wakes up at 4am to eat and then goes back to sleep until between 8-9am. During the day we make sure he's never awake more then two hours at a time (so he doesnt' get over tired)and he eats around 8am, noon, 4pm and then again around 8pm before bed. Of course he still has his off days but that book has helped us tremendously and I highly recommend it.

The Standrings said...

cara- i am NO EXPERT on this subject so this was good for me to hear everyone's advice. Carver "slept through the night" at 6 weeks old...until he was about 4 months. Then began the rollercoaster. Since then, he has never been a great sleeper. I blame that on myself though, for not being consistent and not having a clue what i was doing. hopefully, with the next babies, i will feel a little bit more confident and be more consistent. i was one of those people that was against the "cry it out" method. i just couldn't do it. but... you just get so desperate. i read the books. we tried different things just like you. but the only thing that (sort of) worked was ear plugs and just letting him cry. honestly just thinking about it makes me cry. but he does much better now. i think another thing that has really made it tough for us is ear infections. he's had 4 or 5 in the last 6 months and so right when i thought we had it "down", boom- he would get an ear infection and we'd be right back where we started. With the last ear infection though, we just had a couple tough nights until the antibiotics kicked in and then he went back to sleeping great. i'm crossing my fingers that it continues.
i KNOW how you are feeling and it is absolutely horrible. i wish i knew what to tell you. all i can say is i hope you get it figured out soon. in the meantime, i hope you get to take a nap or two during the day to get to through it! good luck!